Forty nine and twenty seven. First number is my age today, second is my bicycle's age. Bought the Miyata 210 at Corvallis Cyclery today, 27 years ago. Hard to wrap my thinking around so many years. Wondered what to do with this birthday, not scheduling anything except another night on the floor at the restaurant.
So I went out on a birthday ride. The weather broke into clouds and patches of blue, but temps never above the low 40s. A cold ride! I seemed to dodge rain and hail as I rode over West Hills Road to Philomath (that's Mary's Peak flocked in early Spring snow in the picture above), then down Fern Road to Airport, back up Bellfountain and ending at Timberhill Athletic Club, where I'd started. The spa never felt so good as when I sank my chilly limbs into the frothy hot water. Ahhhh.
So what of the rest of the day? Market of Choice for lunch, maybe call some friends to go out for sushi later. Maybe not. I'd feared this would be a lonely birthday, and yet my inner dialogue has been keeping me good company these days.
Yes, I am in transition, wondering how to be in relationship to others. I have a few close friends, and a host of folks who know me through FireWorks, where I really work as an entertainer more than anything else. I am becoming more aware of my need for alone space and time, long empty hours where thoughts and feelings can roam free, where the blank page of my journal or the empty highway beckons me to come play, come out, come home to myself.
Happy Birthday, Ocean! It is a pleasure to be in my own company, today.