Seven thousand miles ridden since July 2010, when I began this odyssey of re-membering my life. I am stunned as I contemplate the changes which have occurred over the last two years, the ways the entire fabric of my life was rent by major life decisions.
“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self”. A favorite quote from Kahlil Gibran’s Prophet.
Indeed my understanding of my life has been shattered. I am exposed, naked, shivering. Wondering how to start again, how to rebuild connections long abandoned, how to make new friends.
A break in the storm allowed a brief ride at the coast, and a long walk wandering under the Yaquina Bay Bridge yesterday. A ride with a friend this morning helped me ground myself in the present. The joy of pedaling across the town, riding through the campus of my youth, cycling helps heal my soul.
As do emails across the thousands of miles of the vast Pacific, attempting to bridge the distance yawning between us, figuring out how to go forward, how to heal the pain I have caused. How to continue to support the one I gave my heart to, then took back to go my own way.
Spring is in full bloom. The long winter’s clouds have parted. New life and possibilities return.