With a heavy heart, I ride

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Day 14: Crescent City to Trinidad, 52 miles

Still reeling from yesterday’s tragic news, I continue my tour, stumbling along at a snail’s pace.

I cycle south over the Crescent City hills, the first of a long string of mountain climbs through the redwoods of Del Norte and Humbolt counties.  Construction stops me at several points, but that isn’t what slows me down.

My mind is clouded, my heart heavy, my legs seem weaker than ever.

Trying to comprehend the loss of dear Zach, trying to feel something real, should I cry?  Scream?  Be terrified?  Stunned?  All.  At once.  And then nothing.  Numb.

I cycle through Prairie Creek Redwoods, one of my favorite rides anywhere.  But it all seems flat, unreal.  I feel like I’m not really here.

I cycle through north coastal towns, Klamath, Orick, see so many boarded up buildings.  This is Indian reservation land, future ghost towns, a blight which seems to echo in the empty place in my chest.

Gradually I begin to talk to more friends, to my family, to new strangers I meet along the road.  I begin to open my heart to the pain and grief, and also the joy and the wonder that Zach has been in my life.  Let others know.  Healing begins.

 

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